This Drifting Excrement Was Way Too Meaningful! It's the TV Disappointments of the Past Year.

As we reflect on the TV landscape of the recent year, a selection of shows emerge not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular failures. From cringe-inducing sequels to confusingly poor documentaries, here are the productions that had us scratching our heads or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

Where to begin with this divisive follow-up? Plagued with woeful scripts, cringe-inducing character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show struggled to justify its existence. Briefly, as the third series began, it looked like it had at last hit its stride. Then arrived an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner declared this would be the last season. It concluded on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s loo full of poo was simply too symbolic. Yet, fans undeniably had a hoot picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a small sob?

All’s Fair

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? Of course she can’t.’

But that was almost the least of this drama's issues. The subject of a very rare no-star assessment, it was difficult to know where to begin enumerating the problems. The laughably wooden dialogue? The mind-numbing veneration of affluence and consumption? The seemingly deliberate parade of cliches? Acting so bad they felt almost malicious? Let’s just say “all of the above” and forget about this series again. Except, a new season has been ordered, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Given the legal troubles, domestic violence allegations and parental shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d truly have known it from this three-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless hedonism while struggling to tell us a single thing we weren't already aware of. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any pity this series might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charismatic but dismissive narcissist.

The Iris Affair

Naturally we knew it was preposterous from the get-go: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost.

The Gangster Drama

Dodgy characters meeting in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.

Actually, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to indulge unconvincing dialects. But there were plenty of other issues. Mainly that it was just profoundly boring; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various cockney picaresques which seemed a bit basic.

With Love, Meghan

Given the extent to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s almost tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into quaint lifestyle as intentional statements. But then you watch them and are forced to admit that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine animated; a meme for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a parade of sleeping dogs, buzzing beehives, Hallmark sayings and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by vast, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are clearly fascinating things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, self-image, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this three-part series chose not to say them. Instead, the viewing was akin to reading a marketing catalogue. She clearly has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series.

The Game Show

It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality managing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As players battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s still too complicated to detail what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up smelling of a programme that was trying way too hard to emulate something far greater than it.

Too Much

How does one succeed a show that captured a generation? The expectation was enormous for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of famous cameos involved felt uncomfortable.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the smart inclusion of gifted emerging comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a single joke stretched to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be handled with care. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lurching from strangely breezy, slightly stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A complete mess? Absolutely.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We admire the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a discovery that could ruin society? No! This international thriller about government agencies targeting – and eliminating – academics frankly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This uncritical portrait followed the content creator renowned for sexual escapades as she undertook her most extreme challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was way more interrogation of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who appeared to haul her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and zero critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. And to think, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.